MC INCORRECT QUOTES

Grimoire: You’re my greatest disappointment, Dregg. I don’t remember raising you like this. 
Dregg: I don’t remember you raising me at all.

3:42 PM

Dregg: I have the sharpest memory. Name one time I forgot something. 
Amber: You left me a crime scene, like, two weeks ago.
Dregg: I did that on purpose. Try again.

Amber: Ugh.
Dregg: What?
Amber: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow-
Dregg: It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.

3:49 PM

Amber: Change is inedible. 
Dregg: Don’t you mean inevitable? 
Amber: [spits out a bunch of coins] No.


Dregg: I love you. Polly; Is that you or the vodka talking? Dregg: It's me talking to the vodka.

PM

Tira: Don’t you have to be an utter disappointment somewhere else? 
Dregg: Not until 4.


Gru: Playing the blame game won't help. 
Dregg: Oh, but one quick round won't hurt. It's Polly's fault. I win.

Gru: Jellyfish have survived 600,000 years without brains. 
Gru: A ray of hope for many of my employees.

Tira: It’s illegal to be better-looking than me. 
Dregg: Guess we’re all going to jail, then.

Dregg: I hate seeing you like this. 
Polly: Like how? 
Dregg: in person.

Dregg, after that coma when he drank too much alcohol: You don't die, but you almost. In those few moments, the void collides with the astral plane and you get a glimpse of God's corpse

Tira: I'm cold 
Dregg: Like my heart. 
Tira: Now is not the time to debate which one of us is more dead inside.

Gru: Playing the blame game won't help. 
Dregg: Oh, but one quick round won't hurt. It's Polly's fault. I win.

Amber: Don't you miss the imagination of your childhood? Dregg: I never had one. Amber: ...Imagination or childhood?

Tira, doing a crossword: Polly, help me find a 5 letter word for disappointment. 
Polly; Dregg. 
Tira: ... 
Tira: It fits...

Drunk Dregg; Looks like this metal jellybean is a piece of vital evidence 
Soldier; Sir, that's a bullet

Tira: I can't fucking stand you. 
Dregg: There's a chair right there.

Dregg: Being good is for suckers. What do you even get out of it? 
Amber: A feeling of fulfillment in your soul? 
Dregg; Gross.

Amber: Just out of curiosity, which half of the body are we looking for? 
Tira: Huh, I didn't even think about that. 
Polly: And uh, what if whoever killed the body is still out here? 
Tira: Also something I didn't think about. 
Dregg: It's good to know you've planned this out with your usual attention to detail.

Tira: Germs take one look at my body and say "Hey, why waste our time?". Dregg: Men say the same thing.

Dregg: Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person? 
Polly: Are you drunk? 
Dregg: Since today's Tuesday, I'm wasted. 
Polly: It's Wednesday.

Tira: Okay, so here’s the tea- 
Polly: For the last time, it’s called a police report. 
Tira: DO YOU WANT THE TEA OR NOT?

Dregg: Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person? 
Polly: Are you drunk? 
Dregg: Since today's Tuesday, I'm wasted. 
Polly: It's Wednesday.

Tira: Germs take one look at my body and say "Hey, why waste our time?". Dregg: Men say the same thing.

Eva, calling: It's done. 
Eva: I hid the body. 
Eva: I got rid of the evidence 
Eva: I have the hostage. 
Eva: You better have my money. 
Amber: I THINK YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER?!??

Dregg: I’m so mad right now, I could overthrow the post office! 
Captain: what’s stopping you? 
Dregg: social distancing

Polly: Look, you don't want Dregg to die. And I don't want Dregg to die. So let's work together to make sure Dregg doesn't die. 
Tira: Fantastic plan but have you ever fucking met Dregg.

Ina/Mina: Fuck 
Cayla: Where did you learn that? 
Dregg: Yeah, where the fuck did you learn that?

Dregg: I'm done with work. 
Gru: You did them all? 
Dregg: That's not what I said.

Gru: Hey, what was the name of the victim from the other day? 
Amber, in charge of that case: His dogs' names were Butterscotch and Buttercup, they demanded to be inherit the socks and peanut butter. 
Gru: That’s not what I asked 
Amber: That’s the information I have.

Amber: Are you familiar with the laws of this land? 
Eva: I’ve broken them all, so yeah.

Dregg, after losing a lot of blood: ... 
Tira: Is he even aware? 
Polly: Dregg, do you know who i am? 
Dregg: ... a bitch 
Tira: Yup he's aware.

Dregg: you're pretty annoying
Amber: thank you 
Dregg: why are you thanking me i just insulted you 
Amber: all i heard was "you're pretty" because i'm focusing on the positives of life

Polly: Look, Dregg, if I ever get killed-- 
Dregg: Move on with my life. I know. 
Polly: No! Avenge me!

Amber, pointing: “I sent good vibes your way. They’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.”
Dregg; *UNHOLY SCREECHING*

Gru: sees a group of people doing something stupid Gru: God, what fools Gru: realizes its the squad Gru: Wait those are MY fools

Amber: I pushed on a door clearly labeled "pull" and now I think I'm stupid. 
Dregg: Oh I do that all the time. 
Amber: Push on a pull door? 
Dregg: Think you're stupid.

Madam Augustus: Your future is one full of misery and anguish. Most of it self-inflicted. 
Dregg: But you didn't read my palm or anything. 
Madam Augustus: I didn't need to. It's written all over your face.

Gru: Okay, Tira, it’s your turn to take out the trash. 
Gru: Tira! No! Put Dregg down right now!

Dregg, after Dregg me to hell: Oh, you guys found me.
Dregg; Wait, how did you know i was gone? Polly: People at the police station were happy for like, five hours, so we knew something was wrong.

Dregg: If I die, my funeral is gonna be the biggest party where all is invited. Polly: "If". Tira: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and he might not even die.

Amber: Going to Plan B? 
Tira : Technically this would be Plan G. 
Amber: How many plans do we have? Is there a Plan O? 
Polly: Yeah but Dregg dies in Plan O. 
Dregg: I like Plan O

Dr Sigh in the barracks, still awake at 3am: If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of the chickens, you are a chicken tender.
Dregg, eyes wide staring up at the ceiling:

Dr Sigh: Planet earth is a dense molten core encased in a layer of solids and therefore is, technically speaking, a ravioli 
Dregg: I’m literally begging you to stop
Amber, hearing the word ravioli: Wait let them finish

Robber: Give me all your money if you want to live! 
Dregg, a police officer: First of all, bold of you to assume I have money. Or that I want to live. Robber:

Tira: I have a plan 
Gru: No murder 
Tira: I have no plan

Kidnapper, On the phone: We have your daughter 
Gru: I don’t have a daughter 
 Kidnapper: Then who just asked for apple pie with jam-filled crust and a glass of warm milk? 
 Gru: Oh my god, you have Amber

(Kidnapper, if he took Dregg: You can have him back)

Dogger: [makes borking noises] 
Amber: You sly bastard, I never would have thought of that. 
Polly: I'm sorry, can she actually speak with the dog or is she just messing with us? 
Tira: Knowing her, it may be both.

Amber: I've conquered my fear of ghosts. 
Dr sigh: That's the spirit. 
Amber: Oh shit, where?

Dr Sigh: Anybody else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins? 
Dregg: Definitely can't relate. 
Amber: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

Civillian: You are, without doubt, the worst policeman I've ever heard of. 
Dregg: But you've heard of me.

Polly: When you’ve worked as a police officer this long, you develop thick skin. 
 Dregg: Lavender’s not your color 
 Polly: LAVENDER BRINGS OUT MY EYES YOU PRICK

Dregg: Nobody told you to bring all those knives. 
Tira: And nobody told you to bring that nasty attitude either, but I’m stuck with both!

Dr Sigh: Anybody else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins? 
Dregg: Definitely can't relate. 
Amber: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

Amber: *eating a cinnamon roll* 
Aurum: Cannibalism. 
Amber: *innocent, confused chewing*

Polly: I started off by making a map of all the crimes that have gone down in Rightia for the last 50 years to see if there was a pattern. 
Polly: [points to a map on a cork board that is completely filled with push pins] That led me to this. 
Polly: There is so much crime in Rightia. 
Polly: No one should live here.

Ms. 'Grandma' Heart: So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for one minute.
Amber: GRANDMA! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES!
Ms. Heart: FLOOR IT?
Amber: NO!!
Ms,. Heart: HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND?
Amber: GRANDMA, YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN.
Ms. Heart: I'M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES.
Amber: GRANDMAAAAAAA


Ada: I slept for 12 hours but I might still be tired, so let's go for 12 more hours just in case.
Duke: Ada, that's a coma.

Ada: Sounds festive.


Tira: Without ugly people in this world, there wouldn't be any beautiful people. 
Dregg: Thank you for your sacrifice.


Amber: What's wrong with officer Dregg?!
Tira: My stunning good looks just took his breath away.
Dregg, groaning: SHE PUNCHED ME *struggles to breathe* IN THE STOMACH!


Tira: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeves 
Polly: I think you meant cards 
Dregg: She did not 
Tira, pulling out various knives: I did not


If Grim cameo'd in the Secret of Lucifers wings
Crow Clan: We have your son. 
Grimoire: Let me speak to him 
Crow Clan: Go ahead, you’re on speaker. 
Grimoire: Dumbass


After Secret of Lucifer wings
Dregg: I was surprise adopted yesterday 
Polly: What? 
Tira: He was kidnapped 
Polly: Oh okay 
Polly: WAIT WHAT


Eva: Well, well, well... 
Eva: Well, well, well, well, well wel- 
Amber: You forgot what you wanted to say, didn’t you?


Amber : I keep cursing in pie flavors and Grandma has told me to stop
Aurum: ..... How do you curse in pie flavors?
Amber: What the strawberry pie did you say to me punk? I'll kick your larabar apple pie into oblivion and then punch the ever living pie flavored pie out of you.
Aurum: That was beautiful


Tira: If the dragon attacked both me and Polly at the same time, who would you save?
Dregg: The dragon.


Cayla: How would you like your steak cooked? 
Vilrole: Like winning an argument with the twins. 
Cayla: Rare it is then.

Dr Sigh: Anybody else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins? 
Dregg: Definitely can't relate. 
Amber: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

Tira: Polly thinks he is so smart! He said onions are the only food that can make you cry. 
Tira: So I threw a watermelon at him, and now he has been crying for an hour.


Dregg: And now we take this bottle of alcohol for example. 
Dregg: If you look at what's left, you can compare that to what's left of my hopes and dreams. 
Amber: But it's emptied out, there's none left. 
Dregg: Precisely


Tira, either bad flirting or threatening: Have you ever heard the sound of a rubber ball breaking the human skull?
Random person A: No?
Tira: Would you like to?


Polly: I've always been incredibly appropriate. In high school, I was voted "Most Appropriate".
Tira: Ooh, self burn! Those are rare.


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